James Bryan Smith in A Good and Beautiful God says that, “Sleep is an act of surrender. It is a declaration of trust. It is admitting that we are not God (who never sleeps), and that is good news”.
My late evenings are generally filled with the need to stay up longer to be more productive and do grown up tasks such as chores, and reading, and catching up on all the “grown up” shows. Most of my daylight hours are consumed with children, toys, stuffy noses, and dirty diapers–So this makes sense, but it ruins me having a normal bedtime. Sleep for me is both a best friend and a worst enemy. I need adequate sleep and yet, usually sleep is the first thing I give up to meet needs: my needs and my family’s needs.
Let’s be honest, this sleep deprived mom is usually slighty (And by slightly, I mean extremely) cranky. The sound of cranky kids to this sleep deprived mom is usually a panic invoking invitation into borderline insanity. (Can anyone relate?).
James Bryan Smith is right. Sleep is for me a need. A need that I had never placed in the context of trusting in God. As a mom, I need sleep to be my best friend because it shows my kids that I am surrendering my worry my cares and my anxieties and placing my complete trust that God has it under control. No amount of reading or chores will ever make me better; not a better mom, friend or a better wife. Usually, in fact, the opposite is true: sleep deprivation makes me worse at both.
Lately, my husband and I, have challenged ourselves to get more sleep. That means that we give up grown up tasks have a dirtier house, and are calling ourselves “old” because bedtime is now strictly 10 pm.
Sometimes though despite my best efforts sleeping does not work. This weekend was one of those times, sleep was my enemy. No matter how much I tried tossing and turning, my husband was still snoring and talking in his sleep, my 11 mo old thought 3 am was a good time to be awake, and no amount of trying to fall asleep was working. I found myself frustrated and very awake until approximately 4 am.
You know what was amazing? Even though my sleep deprivation was out of my control, I was able to gain an hour because of daylight savings, my hubby woke up with our kids and let me sleep til I naturally woke up.
Today I’m just thankful for sleep, husbands, and daylight savings. And that I get to keep my sanity for one more day. 🙂
Psalm 4:7b-8 “At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep, For you, God, have put my life back together.”