Tag Archives: encouragement

Frenzied Family #1: Creating a Family Mission

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Family is essential to our homes. Family stretches beyond home-out into the church, friendships, community, etc. The skills we learn as we develop in a family effect and impact all areas of our life. However, more often than not life is chaotic, we live our life in a little bit of frenzy. “Frenzied Family” is a series on the simple things the Chambers family does to recalibrate, so that we are doing more than surviving the frenzy–we are thriving in the chaos.

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My youngest, Judah, is a late teether (and also bald). He received his first “toof” (as my girls say) about a month ago. Seriously, if you give him a cigar he’d look like Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit. It was so cute..until….the other four started popping through this week. Yeah…I’ve had many a sleepless night, and have been surviving off of an IV drip of caffeine.

In moments like these, when I’m at my breaking point, having mental madness, physical feebleness, and altogether an extremely pleasant attitude….I often have to remind myself that there’s a bigger mission for my house and my heart.

When our twins were 3 months old and I was newly pregnant with our youngest, we looked ahead and knew that life in the next several years was about to be a smokin’ hot mess. Literally, for own sanity, we created our own family mission statement to create a common goal and direction.

It has helped us so many times to evaluate what is important to us and what we want to accomplish in our home and with our kids. It also has made it easier to prioritize our lives and get rid of the “unnecessary” clutter of life.

These are the steps we have taken:

1. Develop. What does “family” mean? What do we want our home to be about?

Cole and I separately sat down and evaluated what we wanted our family, marriage, and home to be about. We searched scripture and listed out what we felt like were necessary things to include. We also looked at our families and evaluated some traditions we wanted to continue in and some we did not.

Then, we sat down together and shared our list. We were surprised at how many things were mutual.

2. Create a Framework. 

We created our “family” framework so that the purpose remains the same, no matter what “Season” of life we are in. Then every year, we set the types of “evolving” goals within that framework. For example, next year one of our goals is to be involved in our community by doing our laundry at a laundromat once a month, for the sole purpose of meeting someone new in our community. (Extra Perk: I get “caught” up with laundry)

3. Use the framework, to establish boundaries and expectations.

It set the bar for behavior, and an outline for making decisions. I really believe that this was a moment that defined our marriage in a new way. It gave us a manageable do-able goal instead of a lofty idea or assumption or expectation we had.

We came to an agreement about the standards for our behavior towards one another. Now, instead of pointing fingers, we can utter, “Hey remember we both agreed to ______, and I feel like we both might need to evaluate our behavior”.Screen Shot 2013-01-31 at 9.54.37 PM

4. Re-evaluate often. 

Each year we re-evaluate it and see how we’ve measured up to our family mission. We also evaluate what else needs to be added and determine what may need to be removed.

Here is our framework (minus specifics):

Our family exists to communicate to each other and every person we welcome into our home or we spend our time with that are pursued by God, that we care for them, and that He wants them to be in a healthy and vibrant community centered on His son Jesus. 

Here is how we will know that we are “on mission”:

  • We will daily seek the heart of God.
  • We find personal satisfaction with our time alone with God and allow Him to continuously change and mold us into obedient followers.
  • We will reconcile our home life and our family relationships before attempting to build outside ones.
  • We will pray consistently for our ministry, our family, and for the people we are ministering to.
  • We will intentionally spend quality time with our family, co-workers, neighbors, and friends.
  • We will encourage and serve one another .
  • We will intentionally give our resources to our church and community.
  • We will be transparent and vulnerable with the intention of having honest relationships built on trust not a facade.
  • Sometimes truth is painful (whether it be about ourselves, each other, or about God), but we will strive to offer grace instead of judgment to members of our family and to others daily.

By the grace and blessing of God we will continue down this road He has led us on. We trust that He is good but we acknowledge that He is dangerous and His ways seem to “mess” things up for us, but we wouldn’t have it any other way because we know that “messy” is also beautiful. Mess makes us mold-able.

1 Peter 3: 8-12 Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Whoever wants to embrace life
and see the day fill up with good,
Here’s what you do:
Say nothing evil or hurtful;
Snub evil and cultivate good;
run after peace for all you’re worth.
God looks on all this with approval,
listening and responding well to what he’s asked

What is your family mission? What are some things that are important to your family? What are topics that you’d like to discuss in the “frenzied family” series?

Other Posts you may like

Maybe, this is normal?

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IMG_3810 “You know, right now your kids need you. Your ministry is your children. You should focus on only that and let someone else  _____ (fill in the blank).” –said by more people to me than I care to admit.

I feel like the skinny pants in a fat pants drawer, or probably more like the fat pants in a skinny pants drawer. I’m the lincoln log in the legos bin. Sometimes, I wish I could be the right “thing”, but most often I’m just plainly the wrong one.

I have a tremendous burden for those in poverty. I can’t help it. It’s like somehow God weaved that into my d.n.a. (Okay there is a lot of reason for this-mainly my parents), but it’s like I can’t go on living a normal life. I just can’t. It’d be much easier to be normal–to let someone else.

So, when people tell me my ministry is to my children….here is what I want to say (but, I can never find the words):

Please hear this…my ministry IS first my family. I am with them 99.9% of the time. I’m probably with them more than should be allowed. But, my ministry can’t stop there….let me explain:

They are taught important things. Oren can tell you a lot of important (and unimportant) things. Lately he’s been interested in IMG_4049mammals, and he can tell you what qualifies as a mammal. He can tell you that Darth Vader saved Luke Skywalker out of love and that love always conquers evil.

He also can tell you all about how God sent a rescuer. He can share with you that Jesus loves our hearts beyond what we will ever know and that sin creeps in and hurts our hearts. He will tell you that sin makes Jesus sad, but He will always love that hurt heart. But, that he wants us to make us have whole healthy hearts and that he died out of love and that love always conquers evil.

Addie can point to the Christmas manger and tell you, “It’s God” (she’ll also point to Santa Claus and say “it’s god”…and she might be right he is an idol to some. I didn’t teach her that…she’s just really that theologically gifted).

Cadie can tell you about flowers, and pretties (I think she might become a jeweler one day), and will sing to you the most beautiful lines of gibberish.

Judah can say, “milk” “all gone” and “more” in sign language. He now officially says, “hi” so at least were winning on the social skills front.

To me a “mom” ministry is so much more than buttering bread and making sure they don’t have too much sugar. Or that Oren receives no gluten, wheat, soy, corn, tomatoes, beans, peas, kiwi, oranges, etc, etc, etc…and that we’re a nut-free house (pun intended) .

It’s more than making them responsible or to use their manners (Don’t be concerned-we’ve had some serious talks about farting lately).

IMG_4033It’s more than whether or not they go to college or are financially successful.

It’s more than having a clean house, which I’ve already decided is impossible with four kids.

It’s a much bigger ministry that just “being a good mom”to my kids–its serving others because of them.

It’s showing them that life with Jesus isn’t just something we talk about at our dinner table or at church on Sunday.

It’s about modeling my relationship with Christ through my life, the whole thing, and not just my role as a caregiver to these babies. Someday these babies will need to know what service for the Kingdom looks like and that learning starts now NOT eventually when it’s MORE convenient.

When we go to the Safeway down the street, and Oren sees a homeless man begging for money and he exclaims, “Hey are you without a home?” (Insert my embarrassment here) and the man yells back, “Yes!”

Oren gleefully responds, “Hey don’t worry, my mom ALWAYS helps people without a home. She loves to do that for Jesus.”

I have to match my words with my actions.

It’s showing my children how to love people and I can’t tell them this—I HAVE to show them.

It’s showing them that the man who looks, smells, and speaks differently than us is worthy of receiving open armed kindness for Jesus sake.

I have to care about the food going bad in our fridge because just across the street their neighborhood friends are going hungry. My “caring” has to be moved into inviting those kids and their parents to sit at my table. I have to for Jesus sake.

I cannot ignore it. It’s not  just a part of me, it’s a part of my faith.

And, if the man I so openly discuss with them, lived a life in service to the “least of these” then I will too, for His name’s sake, and also for my little babies sake.

I’m doing it for my kids-that I hope will embrace a similar life, dedicated to serving Jesus through ministering to others.

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I’m doing it because I need to: for me, for them, for my church, for the kids next door, for the man at Safeway.

Isn’t that supposed to be normal?

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” Matthew 22: 37-40 (The Msg).

Sleep, sanity, husbands, and daylight savings. (13-16)

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James Bryan Smith in A Good and Beautiful God says that, “Sleep is an act of surrender. It is a declaration of trust. It is admitting that we are not God (who never sleeps), and that is good news”.

My late evenings are generally filled with the need to stay up longer to be more productive and do grown up tasks such as chores, and reading, and catching up on all the “grown up” shows. Most of my daylight hours are consumed with children, toys, stuffy noses, and dirty diapers–So this makes sense, but it ruins me having a normal bedtime. Sleep for me is both a best friend and a worst enemy. I need adequate sleep and yet, usually sleep is the first thing I give up to meet needs: my needs and my family’s needs.

Let’s be honest, this sleep deprived mom is usually slighty (And by slightly, I mean extremely) cranky. The sound of cranky kids to this sleep deprived mom is usually a panic invoking invitation into borderline insanity. (Can anyone relate?).

James Bryan Smith is right. Sleep is for me a need. A need that I had never placed in the context of trusting in God. As a mom, I need sleep to be my best friend because it shows my kids that I am surrendering my worry my cares and my anxieties and placing my complete trust that God has it under control. No amount of reading or chores will ever make me better; not a better mom, friend or a better wife. Usually, in fact, the opposite is true: sleep deprivation makes me worse at both.

Lately, my husband and I, have challenged ourselves to get more sleep. That means that we give up grown up tasks have a dirtier house, and are calling ourselves “old” because bedtime is now strictly 10 pm.

Sometimes though despite my best efforts sleeping does not work. This weekend was one of those times, sleep was my enemy. No matter how much I tried tossing and turning, my husband was still snoring and talking in his sleep, my 11 mo old thought 3 am was a good time to be awake, and no amount of trying to fall asleep was working. I found myself frustrated and very awake until approximately 4 am.

You know what was amazing? Even though my sleep deprivation was out of my control, I was able to gain an hour because of daylight savings, my hubby woke up with our kids and let me sleep til I naturally woke up.

Today I’m just thankful for sleep, husbands, and daylight savings. And that I get to keep my sanity for one more day. :)

Psalm 4:7b-8 “At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep, For you, God, have put my life back together.”

Sunny Days…sweeping the clouds away! (Day 7)

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My Day 7 praise is this:

No matter where my kids are in the house, as soon as “Sunny Days…Sweeping the Clouds away” begins an opening ballad, there will soon be the thud, thud, thud resounding through our 3 story house.

Within minutes, 2 little one and a half year old girls will be yelling, “Melmo!” “Abby Cabbabby!” “COOOOKIE!” and will frantically seat themselves excited bottoms down on the couch cushions. My five year old, although he claims he is too old for Sesame Street, normally finds himself meandering into the living room and enjoying the hour long broadcast. They’ve all heard the song enough to know that soon their favorite characters will be parading across the screen.

This little game has become kind of fun for me as a mom. I love to hear their excitement over something so silly. I love to see the joy across their faces as they see and experience the joys of interacting with their favorite characters of Sesame Street.

“Sing to the Lord with grateful praise; make music to our God on the harp.”-Psalm 147:7

Like the Psalm says, my praises for the past seven days are music to God’s ears, but I’m also noticing they are creating music in my life. And like my kids with the “Sunny Days” theme song, I’ve been sharing “songs of praise” so much lately, that I’m becoming more and more excited to hear them. In fact, sometimes, my “thankfuls” are so many that I’ve had to decide which ones to share. I’m noticing that even on the worst of days a there’s still an exciting theme song constantly playing. There is always something that I can be thankful for.

What I can’t believe is that honestly after only seven days, I’m noticing my attitude and my days changing. Things that I usually loathe like dirty toilets, dishes, and never-ending piles of laundry are actually just beautiful reminders of simple things like indoor plumbing, a full tummy and warm things to wear.  Work is easier when I’m counting it as a blessing.

I’ve also realized that I have the ability to tune the song out or turn it off by my complaints or inability to be grateful for them.  The “clouds” or complaints in my life kind of drown out the excitement of all the good things God is doing.

“Always be full of joy in the Lord, I say it again-Rejoice” Philippians 4:4

So, will you join me on this praise pact?

What are your praises this week?

I’m okay.

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My 21 month old daughter, Addilynn, recently stubbed her toe, ran towards me and said, “Mimi, toe-sh, hurts. O-kay? yesh,I o-kay. Kisses mimi, peeze.”

Then I follow up with a kiss to those little stumpy precious baby toes and I tell her. “Oh, Addie-girl, you have to watch where you run.”

She has learned the process, the script, and knows that mom’s kisses heal and she is safe to return to running.

I,like my daughter Addie, have experienced a stub my toe kind of hurt lately. Someone recently hurt me. They don’t know they did, but they did none-the-less.

Someone misunderstood something I wrote. But, they didn’t ask me about it. I heard a concern from someone else and the original person wished to remain anonymous. So, instead of hearing my position or my feelings, they believed something about me that’s not true, and I don’t get the opportunity to set the record straight by clarifying or apologizing or doing anything that the situation could have warranted.

Although it is frustrating that someone thinks something about me thats not true, what bothers me the most is that someone in my personal life feels they can’t talk to me.

It really made me question whether or not I should write in a public setting. It made me question all the people around me.  Was it her? Was it him? Am I approachable? My easiest response to these questions would have been to withdraw and to stop writing or to allow it to impair my running abilities, or to become angry and blame them.

But,  thankfully, I went limping towards the arms of my heavenly Father instead. I spent time praying, and pouring out my heart-hurt.

He began to bandage my heart-hurt with the God-kisses of mercy, grace, and love. And he asked me, “Ash, you going to be okay?”

I’m okay because I’m learning that God will always kiss the smallest of stubbed toe heart-hurts.

I’m okay because I’m learning that maybe I need to watch my words a little more carefully. And, that maybe I’m causing stub-my-toe kind of hurt towards others.

I’m okay because I want to show grace to the anonymous person in my life. I’d like to ask them to forgive me, if my words have hurt them. I’d like them to know that I’m very sorry if I have made myself unavailable or unapproachable for them to share their hurt with me. Most importantly, I’d like them to know that while they may have hurt me in remaining anonymous that I forgive them and want to show love and compassion. And that beyond that, I am willing to risk being misunderstood again and thus hurt again in order to be obedient to the calling God has put on my life.

I’m okay because I’m learning the process, the script, and that with Abba’s kisses I’m safe to return to running.

Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

–Psalm 103:2-4

Letter to a Real Superhero

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I recently shared these words with my friend, a new mom. And, I gave her a supermom “cape”

Dear Friend,

Words do not begin to express the joy I feel to know that you are becoming a mommy. I am so excited to be on this journey with you. There are some things that I think you should know—sort of an initiation into mommyhood.

In the next phase of life, it’s about to get REAL crazy, a good crazy, BUT crazy none-the-less. Your world, no matter how little or huge you feel like your world may be changing it’s about to be flipped upside down and inside out! It’s supposed to happen that way. There’s something uniquely mysterious and beautiful when a woman shares and pours her blood, sweat, tears and heart into a little baby. But, your life will never ever be the same as it was. REJOICE though: It will be better, but it will be harder.

Moms often get fearful to let others know that we’re struggling. There are moments when you too might feel lonely, and inadequate like you didn’t receive any training despite the hours of babysitting and classes you may have taken.

Look around at the moms around you, REALLY look for a minute AND know this: You are a blessed woman. I know that you know that, but I hope you really let it sink in today. These women around you are all women who deeply care for you, love you, and truly will jump in the trenches for you. Most of us have gone through this transition. We have all felt overwhelmed and underpaid. And we’ve all compared ourselves to another mom or woman who seemed to have it “all together”.

Know that we don’t have it all together. We have all been there crying out of pure exhaustion—wishing for more normalcy. But, know also the things you are facing are not yours they are ours– being alone only makes it worse—so reach out when those moments come. Let these women encourage and strengthen you. Let these women challenge you and most importantly let these women HELP you. If it feels like your day to day life would burden someone or is “your problem” and burdensome for others (which is normal) know that it’s not.

You have continuously served and been there for me, I am certain all of these women, and in this short phase we all get to be here for you. Let us BLESS you in that way! Don’t be afraid to ask! Ask for anything: Five minutes for a shower, 20 minutes for a nap, a trip to the grocery store. Don’t feel like you have to be a hostess or be worried about your home, you don’t need to. We all know and understand the challenges we face. So invite these women to face them with you.

Also, Know this: YOU are capable, able, and were made to be a superhero mom. You have prepared well for this! While at times, it may seem like you are failing, you aren’t. Your kids will not hate you and most likely they will not remember this time of transition, because they are resilient. Do the best that you can, and just keep going You’ll figure it out quickly! Tomorrow is a NEW day, so no matter how hard or how bad today felt, there’s a fresh start tomorrow!

Also, know this: keep your expectations of your spouse and of your house and of your life low during this time. The higher the expectations the less of a sense of accomplishment happens over achieving the little things (which all accumulate to become mastery of big things). Allow little victories to come daily and celebrate them!

Also, know this—this is ironic, since I am giving you a lot of advice, but this may just be the most important. Just go with your gut. There is a ton and a ton of differing advice columns, parenting methods, childrearing ways, but just do what you do best. Focus on what feels right for you and your spouse and for the little baby you have. The people who write those or who will give their unwanted advice aren’t you or him or have your kids. Listen, but feel free to use or not to use at YOUR own will!

Lastly, I’ll say this: Remember to keep God as a primary source of your strength. Not only will he give you supernatural abilities (especially when your sleep deprived), but He will be a source of joy and peace in the midst of your chaos. It’s about to get harder to find time to meet with Him, but in the craziness of your life find 5 min here or there. I’ve always been a big time Bible reader, and in my phase right now, I’m fairly limited in that portion of my faith walk, but I’ve gotten really good at praying. I pray while I do chores, and while I cook dinner. Different phases of life develop different faith practices–so don’t be discouraged.

On days when you feel up to your elbows in poop (literally you may feel this way) and babies are crying and you are so exhausted that you are sitting up drinking coffee and falling asleep know that you have a tool—feel free to use it often. You can make it a daily aspect of your wardrobe—you will deserve it within the first 24 hours.

Love ya, and I’m praying for you daily (minute by minute, hour by hour, because I know the crazy mom world), Ash

Favorite Most Bestest Mom

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My day: Wake up, take shower and brush teeth (if I’m lucky), get dressed, change Judah, feed Judah, get girls up, change girls, feed kids breakfast, COFFEE, eat breakfast myself, clean up kids from breakfast, clean up, play with kids, feed Judah, naps, read my Bible, run a load of dishes and laundry, sweep floors, get kids up from nap, feed kids, COFFEE, change kids, laundry, nap, change, feed, laundry, feed, diapers…….get the point yet?

How we conquer “swinging” with four kids, haha

Then, throw in today’s adventure of chasing two children in opposite directions both with coins in their mouth (I cannot figure out for the life of me where they are getting them), my infant Judah screams on the floor because he was in the middle of nursing when this game of coin eating began, and my four year old is saying repeatedly to his screaming brother, in the most annoying decibal, “Judah, Juuuudah, Judah, Jooo–duh, Jude, Jooodah!”

Happy Judah

I wish I could say that these events happen one time every week or maybe one time every day, but they are pretty regular.

I’ve become the mom in the grocery store whose kids are crying and throwing fits, because no matter how hard I “plan” by the time we’ve eaten, changed, driven and are half way through shopping, it is indeed nap time again.

Strangers are constantly raising eyebrows of disdain, and making comments. I received one recently, “you should’ve stopped after your twins” or my all-time favorite, “wow, haven’t you heard of adoption?” I’m not lying, I have been told these things. Even Oren, my 4 year old has said, “Oh, so…we don’t have a dog because there’s just to many kids right?” (I must say I find his to be more funny-than a stranger’s insult)

I am not reading to my kids the recommended minutes per day, nor am I doing all those arts and crafts that develop fine motor and gross motor control. I don’t review flashcards on a regular basis. My 4 year old does not write his name yet, nor has he learned to ride his bike with or without training wheels because we don’t have the time or energy to teach him but for a few minutes here and there. I have to admit, I didn’t throw a BIG 1st birthday party for my twins. To be more honest, I barely remembered it and then we threw a small party a month later. My kids rarely get baths nightly. Sometimes, I’m lucky to get them in 2-3 times a week.

Kiddos takin a bath

But, somedays and more often than not, when I look at these things and the fact that were just simply in survival mode I have to wonder if I’m doing a good job as a mom because these things seem like failures.

Even as I type these thing there is a slight twinge of guilt and a little voice in my head says, “Don’t type that..your just inviting judgement”.

Thankfully, there’s a stronger voice, the one that is not tame but full of love, tells me that my thoughts aren’t His.

He points out that although I’m not being the “World’s Greatest Mom” because I don’t have what the “world” claims is the greatest, that the title I’m earning is better.  That first and foremost, I am his child and that’s the most important. And second, that I’m teaching my kids God’s ways and caring for my kids out of love.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—” Deuteronomy 4:9-10

When people make mean comments, I can graciously respond (while holding back tears) that, “My kids are my miracle babies. God entrusted them to me. That although its overwhelming and appears impossible, that they are my gifts, and I cherish them.” My kids hear that often (unfortunately), and they know I believe it.

Girls help with dishes

When I think about Oren not being able to ride his bike, I also have to remember the moment recently he walked into the kitchen because after he realized that Annie (the movie he was watching) was an orphan and he said (through tears), “Mom, that little girl is looking for her parents. She doesn’t have any. That’s so sad, we would help her wouldn’t we? We would invite her into our family right mom?” He grieves what God grieves, orphans and the lonely people in the world, some people (while being bike-ridders) miss that altogether.

Addie and Momma at the park

Or that despite the lack of arts and crafts, he comes downstairs crying after having colored on the walls during bedtime worried that lying or hiding it would hurt his heart. He knows that bad choices hurt our inner soul and eventually will change us. My husband and I taught him that through our household conversations and no amount of motor skills can replace that.

I might not be giving my kids all the baths or showers or birthday parties they should have, but I’ve got to remember that my lap is always open, I’m excited to see them grow, I love them each for who God created them to be, I encourage their independence and uniqueness. I’m teaching them respect and taking pride in work. Because, we show them love by serving them daily without feeling obligated, it’s a privilege. Even if  it looks like were “barely surviving” by the worlds standards.

Realistically, the things I’m seeing as failures are really first world problems,I only have them because I am educated, and have wealth and can read what the “world’s greatest” should be and what scientific research says the right amount of reading or what arts and crafts provide. They really are secondary.

My kids are happy and content and all their needs are taken care of. They don’t know they are missing out on anything, because they have everything important. And, while I might not be the “World’s Greatest” Mom I’m being “Oren, Cadie, Addie and Judah’s favorite most bestest mom” (as Oren says).

Now, that title -I’ll take it!

And the rest? Well, I’ll have to trust that God has got it under control, that my kids forgive me for not showing them flash cards or throwing a huge first birthday party. And, that when these days of having so many kids in diapers who need so much care are lifted — we will more than make up for it.

“Would you believe that I’m the very woman who was standing before you at this very spot, praying to God? I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I have dedicated him to God. He’s dedicated to God for life.”-1 Samuel 1:26-28

My Beautiful Mess

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Today was a day not really much different than other days, I had a few family members stop by, I changed about 8 poopy diapers between three kids, 5 additional wet ones (just for the record), stopped the world from ending over the batman action figure being placed in the wrong hands, and attempted to keep  four tasmanian devils, I mean children, out of light sockets, off of staircases and fit a nap or two in there somewhere. Sounds clean right? I wish. Sometimes I really really wish, I wish so big my brain hurts from attempting to wish more, but at the end of the day there just isn’t enough of me brain power and/or will to get much more done. It’s exhausting. But, today I know tomorrow is right around the corner, and it’ll be a different type of day, I’m having about 4-5 moms and their bringing more kids over for mom’s group.

 

What does that leave me? I call it the 3-F’s (no, not cuss words silly): frazzled, frantic, and frustrated. Usually, my brain begins to look around the mess that only a tornado could cause. Then my brain does a weird thing and flips the “initializing internal vomit” switch.. “If my husband would just remember to unscrew his coffee lid on this travel mug, I wouldn’t be taking 5 extra minutes to grunt groan and resist the urge to scream a few cuss words while trying to pry it off, and I could be in there picking up the watermelon rinds from under the highchairs. That’s going to take me an extra 5 min just to clean. Why can’t my kids be cleaner?”

Then, God (I’m thankful He did that) hit the “HOLD UP” button, and I began to realize “of all people these are mom’s they’ve seen a mess, they understand”. deflate pressure. I internally agreed, “Yes, that’s true good rationalization. Moms, they get it. Clean houses are for single or childless people everywhere.”

And, then it happened a little question infiltrated my being, “Why do you need to feel put together?” A slight cringe followed by an internally quiet, “crap”.

And there it was–who was I trying to impress? God made my life. He gave me four beautiful undeserved children. He rescued my soul. Healed brokenness. And I, in the midst of trying to minister to other moms by offering my house, was doing the very opposite of ministering to them. I was hiding the truth of my life and the beautiful mess given to me by the maker of all beautiful messes.

See, the truth of the matter is, I am prideful. Time and time again, I want to put on my fancy shoes, new clothes, and cleaned house and present myself differently than who I am in this phase of my life.

Romans 15:1-7 says,

Romans 15

 1-2 ”Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”

 3-6That’s exactly what Jesus did. He didn’t make it easy for himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out. “I took on the troubles of the troubled,” is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it’s written for us. God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we’ll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!

 7aSo reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory. Jesus did it; now you do it!”


And here is where my prayer met brain reboot. “Rethink, yep, Ashley rethink tomorrow. Stop what your doing. Show God tomorrow”.

Tomorrow, when those ladies pull up in my driveway and walk onto my un-vacuumed floors, see the sticky watermelon mess under the highchairs, and notice the food splatters on the refrigerator and that I’m wearing sweats (hopefully they’ll miss the fact I haven’t showered in a day and a half) maybe they will be encouraged. And, maybe they will be able to push through another hard day of being a mom. Maybe, just maybe, they will be ministered to by another mom who is in the trenches. Better yet, they will be able to see that God made us all a beautiful mess and their mess is just as beautiful.

So, tonight my facebook status read “[Ashley Chambers] is needing to house clean for moms group here in the morning…but, I’m too tired now my steams run out….so…ladies it’ll be straightened but not scrubbed…raise my glass in the air and toast: here’s to being vulnerable and transparent and not at all put together!”

Response Question:

What has God shared with you recently?