Welcome Home: this ain’t the luxury inn

Infrequently, I like to take a bubble bath. I say infrequently because I really only enjoy baths if it’s quiet, which rarely ever happens around here. But, tonight was a night I was laying in my mock claw foot bathtub, and as I frequently do, I let my mind wander. It wandered to a luxury resort on a white sandy beach deserted by everything, but me, a book, and a tropical drink of some sort. Then my mind wanderings eventually ventured into the dream house. You know the one where the master suite is a shabby chic vintage meets slightly modern so it barely escapes being called your grandma’s bedroom. The warm Italian meets European style kitchen that beckons for all cooking to behold some sort of culinary masterpiece. The whole things envelops your senses with the smell of…the smell of…oh my gosh what is the smell? And my daydreams have a rude awakening.

A few moments and a quick look in the bathroom, and I realize that my 4 year old burdened with his incredibly difficult chore of taking things to the garbage has brought a poopy diaper graciously in the bathroom garbage. Surely, thoughts of dream houses and luxury suites cannot compete with dirty diapers. Upon the exit, removal of the garbage, and re-entrance to the bathtub, a few babies (seems weird I can say that) begin to cry and it becomes painstakingly obvious that baths for moms are not happening.

I love that daydream, I really do. But, daydreams are for the dreaming, and they aren’t reality. My reality is that while I love my house, it’s hard occasionally to ignore the facts. Facts: there’s a stain on our stair-landing where the dirty dog slept for 2 years that refuses to come clean, my curtains in the dining room have a foot long shred going down (from the same dog that we no longer have jumping up to see who was in the driveway), there’s some plaster throughout the house that needs patching, the lawn needs mowing, the shed is falling down, the place where the carpet meets tile in the bathroom is shredding, and most days my bedroom seems to have a sign on it that reads, “if you don’t know where to put it, it goes here”

My house is far from a magazine and even further from a luxury suite on a sandy beach. My house is just a house filled with loveable, used and worn thrift store finds and a few craigslist pieces of furniture. But, it’s a different sort of house. Our house has a mission, it really does.

Jesus, after being dismissed in his home town, gave instructions to his disciples.

He said, “Don’t think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple. And no luxury inns. Get a modest place and be content there until you leave. If you’re not welcomed, not listened to, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way.”

Then they were on the road. They preached with joyful urgency that life can be radically different. (Mark 6:6-12a, The Message).

My husband, Cole and I decided two years ago when moving into our house, that it wouldn’t be a luxury inn, but would be home. It would be a modest place with loved-on objects, but more so that it would be a place where people feel welcomed. They would come into our front door and this would be a place where they felt they could kick up their feet and be themselves: messy, unkempt, not together, the person they are with those they feel most comfortable with. So that they may know that life can be different with Christ even while they aren’t perfect.

I won’t lie, it’s not always easy. It’s hard to allow people to see the reality of our home. It’s hard not to be prideful but to be transparent. It’s not normal, people think it’s weird. But then again normal isn’t fun. Normal doesn’t change me, normal doesn’t give people hope.

Stop by sometime, see if we’re on mission, hold us accountable, listen carefully to us answering the door. Hopefully we will say, “WELCOME HOME” and invite you in. Then please come in and please ignore the funny smells, the worn spots, the unmowed yards, and feel free to be you.

Response (these aren’t rhetorical, I really want to know):

What is your household mission? How does it play out in the reality of your life?

 

My Beautiful Mess

Today was a day not really much different than other days, I had a few family members stop by, I changed about 8 poopy diapers between three kids, 5 additional wet ones (just for the record), stopped the world from ending over the batman action figure being placed in the wrong hands, and attempted to keep  four tasmanian devils, I mean children, out of light sockets, off of staircases and fit a nap or two in there somewhere. Sounds clean right? I wish. Sometimes I really really wish, I wish so big my brain hurts from attempting to wish more, but at the end of the day there just isn’t enough of me brain power and/or will to get much more done. It’s exhausting. But, today I know tomorrow is right around the corner, and it’ll be a different type of day, I’m having about 4-5 moms and their bringing more kids over for mom’s group.

 

What does that leave me? I call it the 3-F’s (no, not cuss words silly): frazzled, frantic, and frustrated. Usually, my brain begins to look around the mess that only a tornado could cause. Then my brain does a weird thing and flips the “initializing internal vomit” switch.. “If my husband would just remember to unscrew his coffee lid on this travel mug, I wouldn’t be taking 5 extra minutes to grunt groan and resist the urge to scream a few cuss words while trying to pry it off, and I could be in there picking up the watermelon rinds from under the highchairs. That’s going to take me an extra 5 min just to clean. Why can’t my kids be cleaner?”

Then, God (I’m thankful He did that) hit the “HOLD UP” button, and I began to realize “of all people these are mom’s they’ve seen a mess, they understand”. deflate pressure. I internally agreed, “Yes, that’s true good rationalization. Moms, they get it. Clean houses are for single or childless people everywhere.”

And, then it happened a little question infiltrated my being, “Why do you need to feel put together?” A slight cringe followed by an internally quiet, “crap”.

And there it was–who was I trying to impress? God made my life. He gave me four beautiful undeserved children. He rescued my soul. Healed brokenness. And I, in the midst of trying to minister to other moms by offering my house, was doing the very opposite of ministering to them. I was hiding the truth of my life and the beautiful mess given to me by the maker of all beautiful messes.

See, the truth of the matter is, I am prideful. Time and time again, I want to put on my fancy shoes, new clothes, and cleaned house and present myself differently than who I am in this phase of my life.

Romans 15:1-7 says,

Romans 15

 1-2 ”Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”

 3-6That’s exactly what Jesus did. He didn’t make it easy for himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out. “I took on the troubles of the troubled,” is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it’s written for us. God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we’ll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!

 7aSo reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory. Jesus did it; now you do it!”


And here is where my prayer met brain reboot. “Rethink, yep, Ashley rethink tomorrow. Stop what your doing. Show God tomorrow”.

Tomorrow, when those ladies pull up in my driveway and walk onto my un-vacuumed floors, see the sticky watermelon mess under the highchairs, and notice the food splatters on the refrigerator and that I’m wearing sweats (hopefully they’ll miss the fact I haven’t showered in a day and a half) maybe they will be encouraged. And, maybe they will be able to push through another hard day of being a mom. Maybe, just maybe, they will be ministered to by another mom who is in the trenches. Better yet, they will be able to see that God made us all a beautiful mess and their mess is just as beautiful.

So, tonight my facebook status read “[Ashley Chambers] is needing to house clean for moms group here in the morning…but, I’m too tired now my steams run out….so…ladies it’ll be straightened but not scrubbed…raise my glass in the air and toast: here’s to being vulnerable and transparent and not at all put together!”

Response Question:

What has God shared with you recently?