I’m just a little angry about it this week. My window in my room is broken, like its so old that the frame rotted so when we closed it when it got to cold the glass completely came out. The wash machine has been broken for almost a month and is a custom order because the old house has odd staircase measurements for modern wash machines. And then, my refrigerator broke, so we’re essentially “camping” in civilization. Fun, oh so very fun. And then we can’t even be excited about crazy awesome really good news because we also get stupid news in the same fell swoop.
None of these physical things are my families fault. None. We currently live in a hundred year old house, we got a steal of a deal on rent because the owners couldn’t afford to fix some of these issues and went low cost on stuff. We didn’t mind we really loved the character. And honestly, we’ve lived here 5 years and nothing has gone seriously wrong UNTIL NOW, and it all goes to crap at the same beloved time.
And, besides: here we are: this cute (I think so anyway) redheaded family with a deep calling to be present in the city of Tacoma.
And, not just “be here” be present, but to be engaged and to move in the direction God is calling us, which is to serve and to bless the marginalized here in THIS city. It’s both scary and wild and fun all at the same time. Because we are really cool like that.
So obviously: pride, control, and pity are just a few of my issues.
We’ve been saving money for over a year for a planned move into a neighborhood. We live on a busy 4 lane road, there’s no sense of neighborhood. We have no yard, and no parking and we knew that if God were calling us into full time ministry a new home would be a necessity (not to mention get these kids outdoors-they drive me wild sometimes).
Then, last June disaster struck, our minivan transmission blew. It was going to cost us more to fix it than to buy a different car. So, we were able to buy a car outright in cash, but it just happened to be the same cash earmarked for moving. No big..right? We will just wait and move next tax season.
Remember those two REALLY REALLY BIG things we found out about this week?
1) We were accepted to be paid through a missionary organization to live out God’s mission as church planting apprentices here in Tacoma. (shout from the rooftops, glory glory hallelujah..answered prayer). And we are just ecstatic and NOT sure how to share our AMAZING news. (So yah, we just did!)
And in the same 24 hours..
2)The home we are renting is suddenly being put up for sale MUCH sooner than tax season and we have to move..like pretty stat.
So here’s the truth of all it. We knew that church planting apprenticeship was hopefully coming and that we didn’t want to stay in our house for much longer. In prep for all that, we’ve been plugging away at medical debt from my gallbladder surgery, and have a financial plan to be completely out of debt SOON. We live like as small as you can possible live on a CASH system. I’m building a strong business from home, Cole’s working full time and we are BOTH ready to enter ministry–we were getting ready for the very near future.
But, we just don’t have the money right now to move, and we don’t have a choice. This whole idea stresses me out and makes me angry.
So I guess there was nothing left to do but let it go (frozen theme song anyone?) and pray with some close knit friends.
And in the quiet place, God whispers, “I have a plan for you–but you are gonna have to rely on me. You wanted faith–but it is going to require some bold trust-in-me-faith”.
I guess this is where God completely messes me up.
I’m sitting here screaming, “We had a plan God a REALLY REALLY good plan God.”
And he’s all around saying, “I’ve got a better plan, ash, a MUCH MUCH MUCH different,but BETTER plan, ash.”
And, he’s made my heart abundantly aware that I need to rely on him for His grace, His mercy, and His provision. Fear and pride have no room here.
Ministry is hard, its rough, we BOTH as pastors kids knew this and yet God has made it abundantly clear. We are called to it, in a very unfriendly to church region of the USA, so we better cling tight to the anchor and let the waves take us where we need to go. Storms, calm waters, and all the stuff in between (I actually don’t know the word for that…is there one?).
And I’m letting go of the different packaging and letting God do His work here and now, and allowing us to move in HIS direction.
And so here we are….despite our independent self-reliant nature…we’re going to have to share our needs, and let God have his final say:
We need more than just four walls and a roof. We need a place that extends warmth and welcoming and a place that makes “faith” seem a whole lot less scary. Our home will be utilized for community gatherings, and a place of ministry. So you know we NEED the basics: a great common area, a yard, some parking, and a bathroom on a main level. We plan on renting here for the next 5 years…so we need something that accommodates our little toddlers but will all be hugely tall kids (have you seen my hubby?). Plus, we’d like it to be in one of the neighborhoods we plan to spend most of our time and church plant in.
I guess, I’m asking for a miracle to help raise enough funds for our first and last months rent, and deposit plus the amount necessary for the rent increase we will experience when we move (based on our needs a home costs a little more than our budget will currently allow as we finish off our financial plan to be debt free), so that we can move forward in the vision God has so clearly given to us. We set up a Go Fund Me Acct, if you would like to be part of our miracle and fund us…click here.
And, we ask you to join us in this journey-ask us about it, we really are excited. Please join us in prayer, and excitement and celebration that we are moving (in more way that one) forward.