For info on the Mommy Mayhem Series click here.

By Lacey Pires

For as long as I can remember my heart’s desire was always to be a stay at home mom. I was the 12 year old walking around with someone else’s toddler on my hip. I’ve never had any desire to further my education or to have a career. I knew that my life would be my children. Over time, I painted this beautiful picture of what my life as a Mother would look like.

And then, when I was suddenly and unexpectedly pregnant all of those plans and dreams seemed to shatter. My husband was in school full time and I knew that we would not be able to provide for our daughter unless I went back to work.

My first three months with Rayne felt like a beautiful (and exhausting) dream. Everything in my world felt so complete. And then, my maternity leave ended. I had an amazing support system in my husband and in-laws, but my heart was still sad and bitter.

My work life intensified. I was promoted which meant more responsibility and more time away from my family. My 8 hour days stretched into 12 or 13 hour days. The more success I found at work the more guilt I felt at home. I ran myself into the ground trying to spend enough time with Rayne, clean, cook, try to sneak in a few minutes with my husband, fall into bed exhausted and then start all over again.

As two years passed, I missed precious milestones. Her first time crawling, her first steps, and her first words. With every passing day, the guilt and pain grew heavier and heavier. I felt as if my life’s purpose was sitting in my hands and yet slipping through my fingers all at the same time. I was failing her. I was not the Mom I imagined I would be.

One day during an emotional meltdown (there were many) I cried to my husband (for the 100^th time) that all I wanted was to stay home with my daughter. I felt like I wasn’t living out my purpose and it was tearing me to pieces. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. He finally said to me “Lacey, it’s not realistic for you to be a stay at home mom. You’ve been holding on to this idea that just can’t happen and if you don’t let go and accept it than it will continue to poison you.” WHAT? How could he say such a thing? Give up my heart? My soul? My purpose?

And then I heard the Lord whisper, “Aren’t I your heart, your soul, your purpose?” GULP. I hesitantly whispered a “yes.” “Isn’t Rayne really mine? Don’t you trust me with her?” GULP! “Let go, Lacey. My plan is better.”

It took several similar conversations before I had a breaking moment of surrender. I cried out all of the bitterness that was weighing down my heart. I asked the Lord to help me embrace this season of my life instead of merely surviving it. And for the first time since my daughter’s birth, I felt an enormous wave of peace flood over me.

My whole view of myself changed that day. Suddenly, I wasn’t a bad Mom or a failing Mom. I didn’t have to live up to an expectation that I had placed on myself at 12 years old. I could simply be Rayne’s mommy – without restrictions on what that meant. I had a blank canvas.

I still struggle with leaving my daughter. I still feel pain when I miss a milestone or when my husband texts me because the first words out of my daughter’s mouth in the morning are “Oh no…Mama at work.”

However, I also recognize that I have grown in leaps and bounds. I have been stretched and I have faced fears and insecurities that I did not realize I could overcome. And (GULP) it’s made me a much better Mother to my daughter. There were so many things that I needed (and still need) to learn and overcome in order to be the Mom that Rayne needs me to be.

Now I give myself permission to be happy as a full time working Mom. I give myself permission to enjoy every moment with my daughter and then kiss her and walk out the door for work. God knew I would have to be a working Mom from the beginning. He chose to gift me with Rayne when he did. And he has re-made me in ways that only he could in the midst of it.

I clung to my paintbrush believing that I could paint the most beautiful picture. But, I forgot that I serve the greatest artist of all. I encourage you to let go of your paintbrush and let the true artist paint you a masterpiece. It may not look like you wanted it to, but I guarantee it will hold more beauty and depth than anything you can create yourself.

I’m Lacey. I am continually learning about myself. I serve an amazing God whose loving forgiveness has forever changed me. I am the mommy of a very feisty 2 1/2 yr old. I am married to the love of my life who is my constant support and my very best friend. I am a supervisor at a fast paced medical clinic. I absolutely love to bake and my pipe dream would be to someday own my own bakery. I love to write and blog as well. That’s pretty much me in a nutshell!

 Mommy Mayhem is a blog series leading up to Mother’s Day 2013 meant to encourage and bless women as we experience the good and bad chaos that comes with being a mom.  This series has many guest blogs from women in many walks of life: stay at home moms, working moms, moms with grown children, and moms with young children. My request in this is that my readers use  the comment section to bless woman with encouragement and blessings. These woman aren’t professional writers, they are just like you (and me) women simply sharing their journey! If you like, feel free to share and bless other Mom’s experiencing the mayhem of life! (See Posts 1, 2, 3, 4 here)

By Nicole Zinn

I sat with my grieving, ever-so-long-time friend. Her son, for whom I had watched her struggle and agonize over the years, had just been diagnosed with Aspergers’ Syndrome – in the days when they called it that, before those diagnoses all became ASD. She knew my life, my family. At the moment, she specifically knew of my son, my precious Tillman, with cerebral palsy, autism, borderline mental impairment. She knew also of the source of my strength, my gracious Lord Jesus – a Lord she did not yet share. She looked up at me with eyes full of pain and said those words that haunt the heart of every mother – “I just hope that I have what it takes.” And I sat quiet, loving her intensely – “Oh, my friend.” Deep breath. “You don’t. You don’t have what it takes. And I don’t have what it takes. Let me tell you Who does.”

 Permit me to introduce myself and my family. My name is Nicole and this summer I will celebrate 15 years of marriage to Brian, the man whom I have battled, undermined, neglected – who has loved me unspeakably well, anyway, and without whom I don’t know who I would be. Our oldest child is also the newest to our family – 15 year old Amber, who joined us three years ago in her own season of grief. Eleven year old Tillman is next, whom you have already met – followed 40 minutes later by his twin sister Celeste. And rounding out our family in all kinds of crazy ways are twin ten year old brothers, Andrew and Caleb. Yes, you read that right. Five kids. Two sets of twins. I’ve been known to say that Brian and I got as far as deciding we were ready to have ONE child – and that is as much of the planning as God has ever had us participate in. Let me tell you – I do not have what it takes.

A number of years ago, in a winter of particular discontent, with four babies at my feet, I mounted a war of expectations against my husband. Now… I am a warrior to be reckoned with, and ever-so-strong though he is, I ensured that he could not win. My siege-works were mounted against his defenses, and there would be no quarter for him.

But… the Lord, he is a warrior, the Lord Almighty is his name. His breath lays bare the foundations of the earth – and this is what he breathed to me, quiet and terrible at once: “The wise woman, Nicole, the wise woman builds her house. But with her own hands, her own hands, Nicole, the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1) My selfishness! Laid bare. My self-righteousness! Laid bare. My petty, grasping, unloving, ungrateful, desperate, wounded, bleeding, weary heart… laid bare.

And I knew in that moment what I share now with you. I am both of those women. I am the wise woman who loves and plans and prays and labors for my family as an expert builder… And I am the woman who systematically sets out to tear down everything that I love most, with my own strong hands, cynical blow by cynical blow. Truth? The truth is that Destroyer, that one who tears down, is my nature. Left alone, that is where I will go every. single. time. Listen to the gale that roars from my lips as I hurry my children to their schedule – and tear at their character at the same time. Watch the flames that burn from my eyes as I char those bridges painstakingly built. Hear the blades that whistle toward my husband – and then cry out with me – Who will rescue me from this body of death?!??

That great church-builder, Paul, had the same question. He wrestled with his own dual identity, his own one who tears down nature. And he had one answer… Jesus. Paul tells us that the mind, or the thinking, of his nature brought death, but Jesus transformed his mind, transformed his thinking, so that he brought life and peace. (Romans 7-8)

Life and peace… The Lord, he is a warrior, the Lord Almighty is his name, laying bare that nature of death in us… so that we can end our wars, and be those who bring life and peace. So that we can end our tearing down, and be those who build up.

But, how (I have asked… and you might as well), how can my thinking be transformed? Many seem to place their faith in Jesus and do not live this building-up life. How, how does Jesus do this in me?

In the fall of 2003, years after committing my life to Christ, years after setting out in faltering pursuit of time with God in his Word and in prayer, with a son and daughter barely two years old, two six month old baby boys, and constant medical appointments for our Tillman… In that fall of 2003, my husband and I took a step. We took our faltering, back and forth, up and down, private devotional lives and moved them into community. We committed with a group of like-minded pursuers to meet weekly over the course of nine months for discussion of an in-depth Bible study done daily. Accountable now to the group, challenged to continue to encounter God in season and out of season, we built habits (Real habits! Steady habits!) of drawing away to sit at the feet of Jesus and be shaped by his words. Habits of actively allowing him to transform our thinking.

Nearly ten years later, we are still there – now, with our children.

(Did you catch that season that our children were in? Please don’t tell me you need to wait for an easier season of life!)

Do you know what happens over time when you build habits of drawing away to sit at Jesus’ feet in time of prayer and Bible study?

Jesus said it best (as usual!): “I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.” (Luke 6:47-49)

In Matthew, Jesus calls that person wise. A wise person has let Jesus transform their thinking.

By God’s grace, Paul thinking was transformed and Jesus gave him what it took to build a church. By God’s grace, my thinking is transformed and Jesus gives me what it takes to build a family.

We have known floodwaters. There are parts of our story that would make your heart sick and your body weary, just as there have been those kinds of parts to your story. I have no doubt that there will be more. But our house stands firm. It is well built on solid rock, being built up more and more all the time. Sometimes I start to tear it down again, but habits of time with Jesus once again transform my thinking, and I pick back up those tools and begin to rebuild.

Let me say to you now, “Oh, friend.” Deep breath. “You don’t have what it takes. And I don’t have what it takes. Let me tell you Who does.”

Whatever it takes… find a friend to help you, a community group. Ruthlessly comb through your schedule. Mercilessly discipline yourself. Whatever it takes. Get wisdom. Get transformed thinking. Get time at the feet of Jesus.

Mommy Mayhem is a blog series leading up to Mother’s Day 2013 meant to encourage and bless women as we experience the good and bad chaos that comes with being a mom.  This series has many guest blogs from women in many walks of life: stay at home moms, working moms, moms with grown children, and moms with young children. My request in this is that my readers use  the comment section to bless woman with encouragement and blessings. These woman aren’t professional writers, they are just like you (and me) women simply sharing their journey! If you like, feel free to share and bless other Mom’s experiencing the mayhem of life!

By me (Ashley the official Chambers Chaos Blogger)

SO, me and Jesus, we had a chat. It went something like this,

“I’m just tired Lord, stinkin’ tired.

My kids are acting terriible, I lost my temper about 60 times today. I feel like I just can’t do this–I will ruin my kids.Why did you give me so many so close together. I am a terrible frazzled mother. This isn’t fair.

And frankly, Lord (You know, because adding Lord–makes my complaints righteous), doing dishes twice a day sucks, and I’m 4 loads behind in laundry. The kids haven’t bathed in 4 days, and I just don’t want to do this. Obviously, Lord (again-righteousness), being a stay at home mom was a terrible idea.

I also failed miserable at ministering to those ladies this week–I didn’t exactly teach them anything good. In fact, I lost my temper with my children in front of some of them. You definately picked the WRONG person.

And also Lord, my husband and I are just not getting along. We just keep arguing and I just want peace, but I’m too tired to try to talk nicely. I’m too frazzled to attempt peace, why can’t he just understand that? I’m just resigning.

And Jesus (gotta switch it up), I know that you want me to do those things with a grateful heart and serve you by serving them, but I just can’t want to. I am done–there’s nothing left. NOTHING.

So take it Lord take it all. Give me peace and give me strength and give me something–because what you gave me isn’t working. Amen”

The Holy Spirit wasn’t silent for long.

In fact, God sometimes speaks boldly through me parenting my children.

This week my 5 yr old (and, I suppose, I’d earn the adult version) of “Mostest Complaints”as Oren would say.

In a 25 minute time frame while getting ready for a trip to the zoo, he complained about having to wear “hard pants” (btw, these are jeans. Soft pants = sweats or elastic waist pants), a short sleeved shirt, socks, socks with shoes, sandals with no socks, sweatshirt, wearing underwear, not wearing underwear because they were too small, too big, too itchy, too irritating…etc etc etc etc.

(“Official pity party–now taking membership applications. Inquire within.” Should read the sign that hung on my door this week.)

I told Oren, “you know, there are kids all over the world who don’t have clothes. They have one shirt and pray for shoes. If you can’t stop complaining and praise Jesus for what you have then I’m sending all your clothes to those kids”.

Now, please hear me, I usually don’t take this approach.

My son, bless his heart, started crying that there were kids that didn’t have clothes. (bad choice momma). But more so he cried, “But mom I’ll be naked. So maybe I’ll wear these and then we can send something else”.

I told him that he needed to make peace with his clothing and be thankful. So we prayed. (And, I suppose now were sending some stuff overseas–which isn’t a problem, but now I definately have to follow through!)

Then a still small bold (maybe slightly irritating) voice said, “I think maybe you have the same problem-be thankful, Ash, be thankful. My blessings abound in your life–look for those”

gulp.

But, Jesus wasn’t done speaking to this issue in my heart.

During small group on Sunday morning, we were reading Galatians chapter 4:

Paul criticizes the church in Galatia, by basically saying, “Stop stop stop! You are adding to the gospel more things than are necessary. The people you are listening to, their voices are wrong. Listen to me. The things in your past enslaved you, but you are free from them. Don’t go there again.”

In verse 15, Paul questions them saying, “Where is your joy? You’ve lost it. You used to care for things equally as hard…but you did it with exponential desire and care. You had joy.” (PS these are from the Ashley paraphrase–not at all scholarly)

gulp….

 Focus on worshipping me,  serving me, and all those things will happen because you do them for me. Find joy in them because they are all blessings. 

Lord, I am sorry.

I am loved. I am known. I am adopted, wanted, cherished. I have heaven as my resource, Jesus as my strength, and the Spirit as my guide. So.there’s.always.that.

And it’s more than enough. So let my “thankfuls” fall from my lips–let me make peace with my difficult situations and let my life be glory-filled.

Mommy Mayhem is a blog series leading up to Mother’s Day 2013 meant to encourage and bless women as we experience the good and bad chaos that comes with being a mom.  This series has many guest blogs from women in many walks of life: stay at home moms, working moms, moms with grown children, and moms with young children. My request in this is that my readers use  the comment section to bless woman with encouragement. These woman aren’t professional writers, they are just like you (and me) women simply sharing their journey! If you like, feel free to share and bless other Mom’s experiencing the mayhem of life!

By Courtnay Phillips

For years, I found myself chuckling at all those women who hired nannies when they were stay at home mothers. Why would they hire a nanny when they are home themselves?

(totally judgmental, I know).

Truth be told, after many a year scoffing, I joyfully attained one of those nanny positions (for 4 years). I absolutely adored the family, but in the back of my mind, I always laughed and wondered why the heck I was there.  All the meanwhile, gladly accepting the paycheck …that is until i had my own crazy children.

Now I, a stay at home mom of 3, am in front of the pack with my hand raised high like a grade school kid, screaming “OH ME, ME. PICK ME. I WANT A NANNY”.

Though for me, it doesn’t stop with just coveting a nanny. No no, many times I think that my life would be complete and full of utter happiness if I also had my own house cleaner, personal grocery shopper, dog walker, chef, barista and therapist all in my house for 24/7 usage.

Yes folks, these things would most certainly bring the Phillips household our own sense of ‘world peace’. But seeing as to how money doesn’t grow on trees (darn) and people do not work for free (still not sure why), I am the nanny, house cleaner, grocery shopper, dog walker, chef, barista and therapist, to myself. Yes, i did just admit to talking to myself on a daily basis…‘breathe Court, just breathe’.

It is amazing to me how 3 little people can bring out the very best and very worst of me. They see my biggest strengths AND biggest weaknesses. I find myself having an overwhelming amount of patience, yet I still can manage to fully loose it the very next second.

Somedays (few and far between) I feel like I’ve accomplished greatness. I have mastered motherhood and deserve a GIANT trophy. All those other days, I fail as a mom and then compared to other moms it seems like I have failed even bigger.

The other day I was joking with a girlfriend and said, “It’s not even a matter of asking myself ‘why did i have 3 children in less then 3 1/2 years?But rather, ‘WHY did I reproduce at all’?”

Now, please don’t get me wrong, I love my children and I love being their mommy. But, if this were a normal 9-5 job, it would probably be time to find a new occupation. Especially when you’ve developed more bald spots on your head from pulling your hair out, and you feel like you have failed more then succeeded.

However.. this is NO 9-5 job and though we desperately may want to, we can not place a ‘For Sale’ sign on our children and put them in the yard.

So how do I usually measure success for myself? There are two things: One, that I am able to keep my cool and not blow a head gasket, spewing all sorts of crazy over my poor unsuspecting children. And, two, how many sports bras that come out of my dryer. I find myself counting as I fold them, with a growing smile as the pile gets taller–I am conquering laundry and it means I’m working out!

Though I fully believe there is a correlation between physical activity and ‘mommy sanity’, this is not, and can not, be the sole thing to keep an overtired, overworked, underpaid and under appreciated mom going strong.

The hugeness of motherhood can often leave me with little left to give, ok truthfully it’s nothing left to give. But my days cant be measured in worth just because all the fights have been broken up, the sharpie is off the wall, the month old milk stain is cleaned up and the gum wad is finally out of the baby’s hair. I need something more–not just to shower every 3 days or to wipe off that week old make-up (though those things are important).

But, Jesus proclaimed that his success is measured differently, I must allow Him to  fill my soul. How can I expect to have an unending amount of patience when I am more worried about sports bras than about how much time I’ve spent with Christ that day? How can I expect that my children will be madly in love with Jesus if I am not?

If I’m not walking with Jesus daily, there are few good things that I ‘do’ that really matter. The Lord knew way back when he decided to make me a mother, that a nanny, a house cleaner, a chef etc, would not be the things that made me a better mom.

Most days, I try to disagree with Him with my actions, but I know down deep that He has given me a purpose with enough strength, compassion, patience, love (and caffeine) to live another day as a great mommy. That is, if i take it.

I read this quote a few months back and it now hangs in a frame in my house, “ The responsibilities are never-ending and sometimes feel all consuming. Yet the day will be won or lost, not based on my accomplishments, but rather based on my attitude.”

In my opinion, this sums motherhood up. Though for me, if it were all left up to my own personal attitude, it would still stink. Being madly in love with Jesus, draws me into a peaceful place. It is this peace that transforms my ‘attitude’. It pushes me on the become a great and respected mother and continually reminds me that I CAN do this, even through the many impossible mommy moments (and bald spots).

Jesus offers us beautiful tools and shows us the ways to His success. I’ve realized that almost all my momma-crazies dissapate when   taken the time to enter into His presence and be reminded of my true calling as a mom. Lets be honest, I am way more fun and a million times more patient when my hearts been stilled by Jesus.

As much as I would like to say, “I have a dedicated ‘Jesus time’ in my daily routine”. I simply do not. It’s always changing and developing and seems to ebb and flow with life and each new developmental stage of my littles.

Sometimes, all I have to give is a countenance of continual worship through someone else’s words. Worship music blares through my home. When I’m changing a diaper? I praise God through music. When I’m making lunch? I’m praising God through music. It is my continual reminder to shine and pray Jesus to and over my growing babes. And more importantly it fills up my very empty cup.

I often will just stop and start weeping as His presence fills my home. There is nothing else like it! Then in those few quiet moments that come so rarely, I am already surrounded by Jesus and be still and soak in Him.

There is one song in particular that has been my life prayer lately:

I lay myself at Your feet

Asking You won’t You meet

Won’t You meet me

I cannot do it on my own

I cannot do it all alone

Here I am, oh, tonight

With my arms open wide

Won’t You come inside

Won’t You come inside, God

Come and fill this heart of mine

I’m in need of You

Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love

I need You

I need You

-Shawn McDonald

I pray these words over and over until I feel the peace of the Lord sweep down, giving me grace, mercy, understanding, compassion and LOVE for my children once again. I begin to feel my cup refilling and soul refueling. Who are we if we don’t have Jesus? What kind of moms are we if we are continually ‘doing’ so much but becoming so very little?

I have come to realize that if my day actually is ‘won or lost’ because of my attitude, then the importance of  ‘me time (our Jesus time)‘ is huge! There is not enough time in life for us to become spiritual pretenders. Motherhood IS all consuming, the responsibilities ARE never ending, but when we put Christ first, suddenly the mommy insanity lessens and our love and compassion grows.

Do not let being a mom be your crutch and excuse as to why you don’t have the time to grow closer to Him, but instead let it be your drive! After all, if we aren’t madly in love with Jesus, then our children may never be either. I don’t know about you… but I want nothing more then my children to love and adore our creator, so I will make the time! Be pushed, be uplifted, find peace (so you can offer peace) and let your attitude reflect HIM.

Isaiah 48: 16-19 says, “And now, the Master, God, sends me and his Spirit

with this Message from God,
your Redeemer, The Holy of Israel:
“I am God, your God,
who teaches you how to live right and well.
I show you what to do, where to go.
If you had listened all along to what I told you,
your life would have flowed full like a river,
blessings rolling in like waves from the sea.
Children and grandchildren are like sand,
your progeny like grains of sand.
There would be no end of them,
no danger of losing touch with me.”

I am 28 years old and lived in Seattle for the past 14 years. Married to my dream boat for nearly 6 years. Three kids, Paislee 3.5, Sutter 2.5and Bekker 3 months. We adopted Bekker from birth and are licensed foster parents and plan to adopt more through that. I love Jesus more then anything. Without him I couldn’t be the wife or the mom that I am.

Mommy Mayhem is a blog series leading up to Mother’s Day 2013 meant to encourage and bless women as we experience the good and bad chaos that comes with being a mom.  This series has many guest blogs from women in many walks of life: stay at home moms, working moms, moms with grown children, and moms with young children. My request in this is that my readers use  the comment section to bless woman with encouragement and blessings. These woman aren’t professional writers, they are just like you (and me) women simply sharing their journey! If you like, feel free to share and bless other Mom’s experiencing the mayhem of life!

By Jessica Anselmi

Momma, can I have a yogurt?

Mommy, I need a drink.

Mom, can you get me…you fill in the blank.

In a single day, no, hour, we can be hit with what seems like a million big or little wants and needs from our kiddos. Our God-given roles as mommies are to meet those needs and in doing so it becomes routine. How many of us even know what our child needs before they even ask? However, for me it has become so routine that I feel like a robot, who lives in the laundry room or kitchen. Haha.

Well, a week ago mommy robot was in full swing for dinner. Plates were on the table, cups were filled and seats were occupied. It had been one of those busy run around days. I think I worked that day (it was a week ago, I barely remember yesterday) and trying to get a non fast food dinner on the table was a miracle. But I did it. Yay!!! I was starving. I was the last one to sit down and just as I get a forkful of scrumptious dinner in line with my mouth, both girls asked for milk. Ugh… Ok, I understand, my fault, I should have put drinks on the table first. So to the fridge I go, I pour two glasses of cold milk, bring them back with a “here you go sweetie”. Finally food. Another forkful of food close to my mouth and Evie whines, “Momma, I wanted warm milk.”

“EEERRR!!!” just rumbled out of my mouth so quickly. I stood up from my chair once again went to heat up her milk. I could feel this anger just boiling inside of me and just doing what I wanted to do and that was eat. Just eat! Just as soon as that anger started to rise I heard, so clear, the Lord say to my heart, “Where is you cheerful heart? Do I growl at you when you ask for something?”

Shame filled me. Repentance spilled out of me. Here I teach my children to be helpers to others with a joyful heart even when sometimes they don’t want to. How is it that I missed my own encouraging? I stood in the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity, wishing I could go lock myself in the bathroom and be done for the night. However, the Lord used that moment to expose my attitude and correct it. Just like we would do with our children, right? Go figure.

I gave Evie her warm milk. I apologized for mommy’s bad attitude and asked for forgiveness. Hugs and kisses immediately followed.That’s the best part! Anyway, Evie and I did have a little chat about our manners and how important please and thank yous are.

It’s only been a week, but when I feel “the growl” starting to come out of my mouth I immediately think about a cheerful heart and fix my attitude. I have definitely had “fail” moments but there is nothing better than teaching moments with my kiddos. Even if my mistakes are the ones to learn from.

When the Lord spoke to me he called to mind 2 Corinthians 9:7b “for God loveth a cheerful giver.” And then, I started thinking about what Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We all make mistakes! And it seems that when you have children they seem more apparent, but if I’ve learned anything from this eye opening circumstance, it’s that God uses all things to train His children and that’s what we are and who are children belong too. Amen!

My name is Jessica Anselmi (Last name pronounced exactly as it’s spelled)I’m 29, I love love love my family. I love anything crafty, crocheting, sewing, or gardening.  I’ve known my hubby since I was 8 and I had the biggest crush on him. We have been married for 8 ½ years and are seriously best friends and still madly in love. I love it! I am a police officer’s wife. It is a hard job to do but the rewards are worth it.  We struggled with infertility for four years until the day before the specialist appointment, we found out we were pregnant and then 3 weeks later realized why I was already comfortably fitting maternity clothes at 9 weeks… because I was pregnant with twins! Three years later our girls, Locklyn and Evangeline are busy playing dress up and baby dolls and love learning new things each and every day.  I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mom and a friend, but more importantly I’m a daughter of the King and that is never changing. Woo hoo!!

My son, Oren, is a five-year old, beautiful red-headed boy. (Yes, I know I can’t use beautiful much longer as that term will not sound MANLY enough for him). He is full of compassion for others and is very sensitive to people’s feelings. I refer to him all the time as my peacemaker, because literally he wants to help everyone heal.

Unfortunately, even the best kids make mistakes, and he recently made a few bad choices.  (well…really it was the same one over and over). Cole (my hubby) and I were at a loss as to how to creatively make him understand his consequences and how his actions affect others. It was even more complicated because he had already lost everything “important” to him in the first round of his bad choice making. And, it obviously didn’t work. Plus, he’s at that age where “time” makes no sense. So if we say you lose it for a week..he doesn’t realize how long that is he just says, “Okay, a week sounds good, that’s like tomorrow right? or is that yesterday?”

Cole and I  just started talking through his bad choices with him and how our(people in general) hearts are affected by sin. We talked about how bad choices not only hurt us, they hurt God and other people.  We decided that part of his punishment was to ask forgiveness from those he hurt by his actions. This didn’t just include mom and dad but a friend of his and their parents. So, it was a BIG deal to a five-year old.

For us, part of being good parents is to raise him not just knowing boundaries and making acceptable mature decisions to become an adult, but we want him to follow, love, pursue faith with Jesus as more than just knowing good theology. We want him to put that theology into practice. We’re starting his discipleship process now–because we want him to know that our faith journey is so much more than a prayer of salvation. It’s really about falling in love with a Savior who redeems the worst of people and makes our life beautiful and free. We want him to know that falling in love is a process and continual action, it is not JUST a one time choice. That choice is important, but its the actions following the choice that make love possible.

After our discussion about choices, we started praying together intermittently throughout the day. I pray with him in the morning, and Cole prays for and with him in the evening.

Then, we pray over meals all together as a family. My favorite thing about our dinner prayer is when Addie starts shaking her head yes and starts talking under her breath in her own gibberish, she is “praying”. Then as the family says “Amen” Cadie yells out at the top of her lungs, “A.M”

At first, Oren just wanted to sit and listen. AND THAT was fine-we don’t want to force him to develop a relationship with Jesus.

But, as the praying became routine, he’s been wanting to pray all the time and on his own. He came downstairs the other day and exclaimed, “Mom, mom, mom, I was going potty and I was praying that Jesus would help me not to use too much toilet paper. I used the exact right amount!”

Silly as it is–I LOVE IT.

We’ve always struggled to get him to sleep in his own bed, a few nights ago instead of crawling in our bed he said, “Mom, would you just pray with me so I won’t be afraid?”

After that, he went straight back to his bed. No arguing, no wrestling, no tears. He safely believed his life was valued and cared for.

We’re learning how to pray without ceasing and to turn our anxieties into prayer.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (The MSG)

For a long while now, Cole has been reading nightly from The Jesus Storybook Bible, a beautiful children’s Bible that captivates both Oren and dad. Followed by a discussion.

This week we initiated Oren and Mommy devotions. We pull out “Solo” which is a 365 day devotional using The Message. We’ve been reading each day and answering a few questions together.

I’ve (okay so has Cole) been amazed at his responses.

We’ve also been consistently listening to worship music and talking about what the words mean.

A highlight of our Good Friday bedtime was hearing Oren hum himself to sleep and singing softly “And I surrender ALL to you, all to you. And I surrender all to you…” He knows what those words mean and to whom He is surrendering. That is a beautiful thing to my ears and to my heart. My heart weeps.

This whole process of encouraging him in his faith…is that we are ALL growing together. Mom and Dad are becoming better parents and better Christ followers as we seek to model Jesus to our children.  Oren is developing a beautiful faith just by being invited into our faith journey.

Our Frenzied Family is at peace, were not anxious. We know that God has Oren, Cadie, Addie and Judah’s life in his hands, but were helping to teach them what it looks like to be a Christ follower Mon-Sat and not just on Sunday morning. We want them to know what REAL faith looks like over some little simple steps through us modeling our faith. Discipleship really is that easy, it doesn’t have to be forced. It can be simple and profound.

The discipleship process for our son, can and should be part of my process as an adult. Sometimes, I think, “I have to start big–reading 3 chapters of my Bible and praying for 45 min” and I fail every time because I try too much too soon. I fail to let the small building of consistency build up into a routine.

Colossians 3:15-17 says, “Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ–the Message–have run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives–words, actions, whatever–be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way” (The Message)

What are some ways that you infuse your house with love and modeling the Christian life?

Anyone else feel like this might’ve been a very very weird week? Okay, so maybe it’s just me.

On Thursday morning, I had surgery and had my gallbladder and

colourbox.com 

an umbilical hernia removed. For a SAHM (stay at home mom), being out of commission means a whole lot of crazy things. For one…the stress of “getting my house together” for other people to take on ALL my regular duties and caring for my children. Then the surgery itself, and the dirty looks from my kids (I’m convinced they hate me right now) because mommy cannot hold them or ‘nuggle as my girls say. I wrote about the blessings and the beauty Jesus is teaching me as I sit back and watch my world operate with me having very little interaction. Check it out here. 

Then, we had a week full of FB overload of gay/anti-gay marriage propaganda from both sides. Here’s some great articles I read this week talking about how my words, actions and posture should be during this whole debate enraging our country:

7 Questions for Christians to Ask about the Gay Marriage Debate by Relevant Magazine

In the Basement by Jen Hatmaker <—-written during the chick-fil-A debate, but pertains to now

The Basement Manifesto by Jen Hatmaker <—–follow up to the basement posting clarifying and sharing her heart about the basement during the debate again.

The Gospel is NOT a Behavior Control Program by Relevant Magazine

Then, in the midst of all these happenings…it’s Holy Week. We celebrated Good Friday (we also refer to it as sad friday) with our small group of friends over dinner, scripture and communion. It was a beautiful reminder of the blessings and the undeserving act Jesus committed on my behalf.

Here’s a few Holy Week postings to check out:

In Which we Leave a Little Room by Sarah Bessey

Maundy Thursday and The Love Mandate by Rev. Emily Heath at Huffington Post

A Broken Hallelujah by Jen Hatmaker <——THIS!

Other Miscellaneous Good Stuff:

So you Want to Be a Disney Princess by Mischief Managed 

The Slacker Moms Guide to Easter Egg Dying by Kristin Howerton at Rage Against the Minivan <——-Can I get an Amen?

How are you spending Holy Week? What do you do to celebrate or commemorate Christ’s death and resurrection?